Almost inevitably, when dealing with clients in early recovery they will ask "what caused my addiction?" Parents of young people ask it a lot as well: "Why is my child an alcoholic or addict?" People want to get to the ROOT CAUSE of what created the addiction. Was it Nature v. nurture? Parenting? Genetic? Was it because Uncle Bob is an alcoholic or because Cousin Silvie is a pill head? Is it because they grew up in a broken home or is it the fault of social media? Cell phones? Seeing the towers go down on tv on 9-11? WHAT CAUSED IT? Fluoridated water? Breast feeding or bottle feeding? Being bullied in 3rd grade?
My response is always, "WHO CARES?' This is rarely received well, so I have to elaborate: "If the house is on fire, do we stop inside and try to figure out what CAUSED the fire, or do we just run for our lives?" Of course, we run for our lives!!! Being in early recovery from addiction means symbolically that the house is, or just was, on fire. Now is the time to RUN TO RECOVERY and AWAY FROM DRUGS AND/OR ALCOHOL. The last thing to worry about is WHY you became an addict, correct? Lets just stop the bleeding and treat it asap.
Underneath all of these "origin" questions I sense that there is something more pressing and of concern to the helping professional. My spider senses tell me that the client could be looking for the "easier, softer way" out of addiction and into recovery. "If I can figure out what CAUSED it and FIX it, I'll be ALL BETTER (and maybe be able to use/drink socially.) I must say, however discouraging it is, that once a cucumber becomes a pickle, it can never be a cucumber again. Wait...WHAAAT?!!. What that means is that the threshold into addiction is one way; you can't go back and undo it. (It's like those tire prongs in parking lots where the sign says DON'T BACK UP AS YOU WILL DO SERIOUS, PERMANENT DAMAGE TO YOUR TIRES.)
AN addict can NEVER use "socially" (whatever that means) and an alcoholic can NEVER drink "socially" over the long haul. Perhaps for a day or two when they are trying to prove a point, but they will revert back to where the progression of their disease is set. You can take it to the bank. The options are 1) be in an addiction or 2) abstain. (I know thats pretty harsh and cut and dried. But seriously, what alcoholic would EVER be happy nursing 2 drinks all night?)
In another post I'll talk about the symptomology of addiction but for now... If the house is on fire, get the heck out!
